Happy Spring Time! Or so it seems today and at least the next day or two!

Oh what a way to end the day.... Or start the week! I have to say, I rarely ever have time to myself - I mean totally to myself. If I'm at home there is the TV, kids, family and telephone and even generally when I'm away from home there are kids with me and at least my Mom. Now, don't get me wrong - I love having my Mom with me as my partner in crime which is more often the case than not... And I love my family, acknowledging they are no doubt this life’s greatest blessing to me! And even the kids, I realize why I do this job called foster parenting, as there are very few who really could do it and God for some inexplicable reason seen it best to bestow this gift (or curse as it may be) upon me... So, I'm not really complaining about the limited down time...But at the same time, when those rare and precious moments arrive they are generally unprovoked and come quite by accident. As was the case tonight! I had to go to the bank about 40 minute drive time one way. I stopped for a cup of coffee at a drive through on the way and went there and right back... Today was this incredible Colorado spring day that makes one remember after several days of unmerciful winds AGAIN - why we still choose to live here in this pristine region! The sunset was prime time for my drive, without even so much as a cloud in the sky anywhere along the vast front range, as far as I could see! Truly it was an awesome view and as I drove I took it in and talked a lot with God. We haven't had such quality alone time with such dramatic scenery for sometime! Really - the surroundings of my bedroom, complete with more than any room should have in it and a closet that continues to fall down little by little with little more to go before it is totally non-existent! I swear that one way or the other it is getting fixed this summer! Either it's fixed after we empty it when we are moving or it gets fixed because we are staying, but either way - it's getting fixed and the closet project I started about five years ago is getting finished if it kills me! But back to the point - the fact of the matter is, either the bedroom or bathroom are my only solace really... I haven't taken any walks as dusk since fall so tonight turned out to be a blessing to spend the time alone.

Funny thing is everyone I think felt a little bad that I had to go by myself.... tee hee hee... That's okay; they can think that as some times that would truly be how I'd feel too, just not tonight.

So, I discussed past goof-ups that I have made, things I am still ashamed of, feel guilt over and so forth from years past... I was thinking about my life and some of the things I'd wished I had done differently from clear back in my youth... Silly I know, but we tend to do this sort of thing in life. We get some baggage and think we just can't part with it... Much like the other clutter that is going bye bye this year if, I mean when we move... And if we don't move, I still need to lighten up! However, he (God) reminded me once more that I have been forgiven and until I let it all go and forgive myself that I have this huge weight around my neck - like being thrown over board with a cement block chained to my foot. I am working on dumping my baggage once and for all. It's time to move on as I know that God has immense blessings in store for me - not that I deserve them or am worthy, but because he so loves me and has such a plan for my life. I know as much as I have screwed things up more than once, that my heart is his and in this is his pleasure and desire to bless me accordingly. The good news is he feels the same way about everyone of us who turn our lives over to him! Isn't that a great reminder tonight?

Anyway, the ride was awesome - the music was perfect, the sun set and even the star filled night sky which was romantically enchanting in a special sort of way. I love all that we are surrounded by in the world of nature that God has so masterfully created for our viewing pleasure. Dark, star lit skies are so vast and create such thoughts of imagination and dreams! And falling stars??? Will, that's just God reminding me he's still here and listening - like he's smiling and winking right at me. And somehow he knows just when I need one of those smiles the most!

About the rest of the day? Sort of up and down, but productive nonetheless. It was all in all a pretty good weekend. I think next week we are taking in the first race of the season on Sunday afternoon at the I-76 dirt track speedway... That will be fun so we have to believe for warm spring like weather like we had today! Some of the boys have never been to the races so it should be fun for them too!

See what I mean... As angry and upset as I may get with them - as was the case today when I discovered the absolute destruction of my little garden shop area again! However, I am still thinking how nice it will be to take them to do something that I think they will enjoy and haven't gotten to do before.... That has to be a gift from God - as I know most everyone around me hardly understands it. I think even Ron has trouble with it at times, but it's sort of rubbed off on him. He may voice his disdain with situations, talking tough, but all in all, he's the one who generally pays the way to these special outings and enjoys as much as anyone seeing their eyes light up for the first time to try something new.

It wasn't too long ago I over heard him discussing how many kids had learned to water ski behind our boat... It was said with some heart, but he'd probably deny it...

So, here we are...The end of the weekend, and the beginning of a new week with tons of promise, many hopes and even more prayers. A clear slate and a fresh view from my brief trip alone tonight... It's all good!

I hope you have had a chance to enlighten yourself with only God and yourself alone lately, and if not, you might want to take that walk at dusk tomorrow or the next night... I'm sure he's waiting!!

Have a happy and blessed week and I promise to try to be better about my daily attendance here over the coming days!

Love to all!
Sher Bear