It is so "US"... The whole of our society of who know the definition for the acronym TGIF! "Thank God It's Friday!"

Yes, everyone seems to know this one, even those who do not share the glee of the day due to weekend work schedules; or mothers taxed at the idea of the kids being home from school for two full days...in my case, a full week too. Yes, next week is our spring break. This simply equates to a full week with four kiddos, at least two who would rather be just about anywhere but here.

Ah alas, something to look forward too!

That brings to mind, why would they think it is simply the worst place in the world to be stuck living at? After all, haven't several youth preceded them successfully? Why yes, there have been many who have come before and made it successfully through the plague of placement woes and unhappiness.

Why would they feel any differt, after all, they have grown up in a world of youth whom believe that work entails walking to the video cabinet to pick out the next interactive game to play or movie to watch!

Would it be any wonder that youth from this same generation seem to believe they should not have to partake in anything that requires physical effort for a purpose other than self gratification? Probably not! Least of all, shoveling horse manure! God forbid they should have to partake in the responsibilities of living on a farm and even more the case is made by the fact I'm not out there shoveling with them. lol

Then again, if I were they would not be getting away with taking four hours to do 30 minutes worth of work. Hence, the outcome would be 'I'm an unreasonable slave driver' and their argument that 'these are not their horses' would remain the same.

The amusing piece in this I suppose is the reality of many youth from my years before foster care who would come to me begging to do chores, pull weeds, clean house or any other form of re-payment in turn to get to go to the stable to just be around the horses, let alone the riding lessons and more. Many were no more than eight years old and demonstrated a work ethic that my current teen age foster sons would narrow by comparison too! All of whom willing said they wanted to come here, to help with the horses, including manure clean up, and absolutely loved horses.... Hmmmm..... Where then, did it go astray?

I'm not sure, but I can tell you undoubtedly every one of them who has remained in contact with us beyond their time of living with us has come back to say how easy they had it back when and they wish they could re-do it and make it different. More than one has even requested to move back. Unfortunately, that is not generally an option.

It does leave me to wonder, how did we as a society get to the point that we are now at with our youth? Was it the age of cell phones? Video games? The intensity of Gang related activity? I suppose we can contribute the outcome to a bit of each of these and so much more as our society has hit an all time low in morality, integrity and ethics. However, I have to marvel at the lack of incentive and motivation that so many of the youth today have; even far greater than their counter parts of five to ten years ago. The sad realization is how difficult it then becomes for them to survive when they venture out on their own.

What is maybe the most shocking revelation in it all is there presumption to being entitled. To what you may ask? Perhaps it is not the case in many foster homes, so I can't speak on behalf of others on a whole. But in our case, we take the boys out to dinner and other various activities on a fairly regular basis. Friday nights are pizza night. We do things such as bowling, fun trade shows for things like camping and sportsman type things. We go to local auto races, picnics in the mountains, horse shows, rodeo's, camping, boating, water skiing, water tubing, a winter family vacation in the Colorado mountains at a condo with an indoor swimming pool every December, snow tubing at the ski area this past year, horse back riding lessons if they are interested, swimming, go to the park to shoot hoops and more.

I'd love then to know how, with the amount of money spent on them and the privileges that many kids (not just foster kids) will never get a shot at; that these guys (who have been in trouble with the law, as a result have few to no choices of places to live beyond our willingness to take them in; who bring their emotional baggage, anger, resentment and hurts along with them to dish out in our direction in ample doses; have broken, destroyed and disrespected our home, property and privacy, in addition to attempting to get anyone in trouble at any opportunity) still have the audacity to believe they should not have to assist or be expected to assume full responsibility for chores that elementary age children are capable of doing???

It is a bewildering matter and if asked, many would simply cop an attitude saying something like "I don't care about those things..." To say “thank you” is in their young and unknowing minds going all out in repaying any privileges they may have received. Then again, we keep in mind they have a mind set of expectancy and entitlement of which the system and our society has created.

I laugh when I hear them say the only reason I do foster care is to have them do my chores... Considering how things used to be done when I had a life outside of four youth with broken lives, as opposed to how they are now. I find humor in their presumption it's all about money as well. Though, I can't hold any of it against them. After all, they have never had to make their own way in the world. They have never had to pay rent, utilities, phone, water, gas, maintenance, and so on. They don't have a clue what it cost per month per child to maintain the life they all become perhaps a bit too comfortable living while here.

And as stated, so many have repented of their hateful and many times hurtful comments and actions long after the fact. We have received many apologies for things they did long before while living with us. I willingly welcome their comments and presence back into the folds of the family, knowing that life has redeemed our home in their young adult eyes.

Even if not until that wonderful time in life, when they learn that perhaps they don't know everything after all, the reality of my words do finally find a place to take root in each of their minds and hearts.

Perhaps that is how it will have to be with the majority of them from this time forward. I suppose I can live with that. Even in spite of the reality that all too often it feels like we are doing for, giving to, loving and caring a houseful of ungrateful and unappreciative recipients until that day arrives, all too often not until after they no longer live with us..

Such is the life of an invested foster parent. No one ever said it was going to be easy. I take Jesus as my role model here.... He still to date, after thousands of years, continues to love, care for, listen to and answer all of us. I don't know about you, but I suppose my gratitude has been comparable to the youth we care for on more than one occasion.

In this, I am reminded once more to seek forgiveness for my presumptions, anger, attitude, emotional baggage and so much more... I am on bended knee asking humbly what it is that I can do to repay what he has offered me. Yet I know full well, there is nothing I could do in turn... His love, his gift, his life, his suffrage and his blood all came at such a high price that I would never even be able to consider approaching the foot of his throne if not for his grace and mercy.

Therefore, I am humbly reminded that what I do in service to others, be it the youth in my home or others in my community and beyond, is but a small fraction of his example. I recognize the need to maintain such humility, grace and mercy in all that I do or attempt in this life!

I really wasn't sure where this was going when I started it today, but I clearly see God had a purpose and direction in which he was taking my words and my thoughts now! Our God truly is an awesome and incredible God! I seek to recommit my life to him once more, even again... To live my life and serve in any capacity that he leads me to, is a life well spent!

I hope you are encouraged by my thoughts and words today in a way that will assist you all in facing the giants and skeletons in your own lives... Remember, nothing is too big for God!

And by the way, the bank is late! I said by noon today and here it is approaching late afternoon and no word! God's timing, not ours...

Keep visualizing and seek the promise and fulfillment in your life that God had set before you were born! He has a plan of good for you, a plan to prosper the ways of your life! Seek first the kingdom of Heaven and all else will be added! God Bless Us Everyone!

Love to all!

I'm feeling a bit unmotivated this evening, but then again that is not so far off of the week. It's been a tough week to get my heart into but I am thinking positive that it's going out with a bang so to speak. I am looking forward to word from the bank tomorrow - as Pam suggested I gave the visualization a time line... Friday by noon sounded reasonable to me, so that's what I went with.

We are all a bit puzzled by now as to the timing on this matter... Surely a solid no would have come awhile back, but then again it's taking an awful long time for a yes as well.

I have to say, it's really tough for people like me, those who are always trying to out guess the next move by the world around them...

Yes, it's tough to sit back and trust the process... That is why I have to write it, read it and repeat the quote "God is in the process.... Therefore trust the process." As often as I do!

All those wonderful cliche's such as "Let go and Let God".... And so on. So, now I once more show a more vulnerable and undesireable side to my person. I hate to adamit to it, but it can and has been interpreted on one or two occassions as a control issue. Who me??? Nah!!!!

So, here I am Thursday night, unmotivated, bloated from too much dinner, worn out and most of all finding that all the negatives are no doubt a means of dealing with waiting.

I dare say, Chad is not much better at this waiting game than I am with the business's existance on the line. I suppose he comes by it all too naturally.

Perhaps, these are not such good traits, but at times I belive they have been beneficial. As with any gift, it can be abused or simply misused if not careful.

On that note, and admittedly acknowledging that I am rambling here tonight, I believe I will call it good at this and go to bed early for a change. Maybe there will be something inspiring on the TV in our room and I will fall into sleep with more emotional fulfillment than what I am offering here tonight!

Thanks for hanging in there!

Love to all!
Good Night

Be sure to check out the pictures in my profile gallery area here at Blogstream!! They are there now! I just got them done for you to see and help us along with your prayers and visualizing! I suppose I should get a picture of the two backhoes that Chad has for his business to get some visualization and prayer asisstance there as well!

My gosh, here it is yet another week nearly past us and the future still beyond our reach, but not our imagination!

I will likely have to check back in later this evening as it is only minutes before I have to leave to pick the kids up for our weekly trip to the greater metropolitan area of Denver...

It's all good though... Today we woke up to early morning snow fall that of course was melting nearly as quickly as it could fall. In all, the ground is dampened and I am so thankful as we have been so terribly dry in our region once more this winter.

I'm quite sure the farmers alike are praying for those spring showers or downpours as the case may be for the amount of moisture it would take to make up for the amount that we have yet to receive. Reminds me of a dear neighboring friend/farmer who once said "I think I might have done things a mite bit different, but I suppose God has his reasons."

It truly made me laugh to hear this God fearing man say this in his laid back tone of bewilderment in the weather patterns that had befallen us so many seasons before. He was right though. We're generally pretty sure we would do a better job in the bigger picture, yet we generally come to understand or at least try to understand what the greater value in God's plan truly is.

So it goes, today is the day of gray, over cast skies and I can rejoice in it, no doubt along with many others!

Chad is on his way to check out a job possibilty today. The one he received last Friday he was awarded the job, but the county now may take a different action for the land owner which will alter the plan after all. I know he was feeling a bit discouraged but today he seemed to be renewed in his optimism. It's so hard starting a new business, but I can only trust that with his solid effort put forth and his sincere effort to visualize it as achieved he will make it.

I appreciate any help in the visualization category that you can offer - sending your good thoughts our direction for "The Big House on the Hill" as well as for his start up business to take off and not slow down... I am going to add a picture of "The Big House on the Hill" for you all to see and help visualize with us!

You're all awesome!
Love,
Sherry

Good Morning to everyone!

Sorry I missed you all here yesterday! Alas, it was the last Tuesday of the month and I was lost in my perception of dread. The dread I experience in having to attend the on going training classes necessary to maintain our foster care license.

It makes me wonder why my perception of these classes is such a negative. After all, I like all the people who are involved and the classes in themselves are no more than two to three hours. Perhaps it is the extra two hours of driving. But then again, this is time for Ron and I alone which I would generally be happy to take any way I can get it.

If that comment raises an eye brow, seriously!!! Consider the fact that we care for four of societies at risk youth. Needless to say, life can be rather tedious at times and certainly all encompassing.

For example, the night before last we had yet another run in. These kids, bless their hearts, have no clue! You want to guide them to follow rules and learn boundaries for their own reasons of success, but when they can or they at least think they can get away with crossing those boundaries they're perception is their reality as well. Then when they are exposed gently they sort of shrug it off and go until the next time. After so many of these gentle exposures, we have to take a harder stand on the violations and point out the obvious.

They don't know how to respond to the gentle exposure, so it's most assuredly they are at a total loss of being called out on their choices in a more assertive manner. But the saddest perception that comes out in these times of heightened awareness is the reality they see themselves so often as hopeless. Sometimes they are no more than hopelessly lost to a society that has deemed them as unworthy.

This brings to mind my own perceptions which have been proven to be reality as a whole across the board. The fact is that most people will think how sad this is when they read it. They will see themselves as not being the member of society who feels this way... But the truth is quite different. I know very few individuals, including foster parents and counselors, who would or are willing to take the likes of many of the youth we have housed and parented over the years.

How do I know this? I know first hand, everyone wants to look to be the good guy, but no one really wants these sorts of problems in their schools, dating their kids, living in their homes, or even in their back yards. The issues if revealed poise fear and isolation. Is it any wonder then that these youth have no belief in themselves?

Their perception is not a reality. We do all we can to protect them from themselves as well as the society as a whole. However, it is not easy, specifically when they tend to be so down on themselves that they nearly refuse to even consider the possibility they could conform to the expectations and boundaries set before them. When they slip up they see themselves as only confirming their perception of their identity as hopeless.

Sometimes we have to challenge them and put the thought right back out there to them. Yet, we have to counter it with the reality of hope for the future. It is not an easy balance to find when holding them accountable, but attempting to lift them up at the same time.

It all drives home the fact, as it is with so many of the youth we work with, perceptions false or not, are a fact of life for everyone.

If our perception is that we are hopeless failures in life, so we will create such a destiny for ourselves. If we see ourselves as happily successful, we will also fulfill that destiny.

Much the same as each person's unique personality and perception as well, is significantly different for each individual. What I may consider successful may be wildly different than the guy up the street. My perception of dreading my Tuesday night classes maybe something that others desperately look forward too in answered questions and adult dialog around fostering.

Therefore, I conclude many times over that our perception rather right or wrong, rather factually based, or erroneously misleading, is our reality.

The only way to change a perception is to change a thought process. Hence, we return once more to "Life after the Secret".

As the clock continues to tick away while we await the banker's word on the lending application for "The Big House on the Hill" I see the hope fade in the eyes of those around me. I see hope replaced with the attempts to begin emotional damage control before the unavoidable disaster hits. The mentality of defeat as it is.

I have not resigned myself to anything one way or the other, but have fought the fight of negative thinking ever since the process began. However, I am still very hopeful and realize that if it were a clear cut "NO", we'd have long since heard it. However, the fact that it is still in process tells me they are working on something. If a negative response is concluded easily, and we have not received a "NO" as of yet; that could only mean they are working on gettng it done. In such thoughts, remains hope!

You see, I too have maintained a misguided perception which has over time become my reality. I have undersold, down played and down right hidden myself and my gifts for the most part for years. At the first sign of defeat I have had a strong tendency to tuck tail and run back to the porch. That is until recently.

I realize from the feed back I have received on the blog that no one really sees what I am doing here as making myself vulnerable. Yet, that is exactly how my mind processes it. What seems like a no brainer to most people, of me sitting at the computer and jotting out a few lines every day on life and thoughts around life is non-evasive and without risk.

However, after being nipped pretty hard a few times in life, I find it incredibly risky. However, I am trusting God and stepping out on the limb at the risk it could break from the weight I am putting on it. I have tested the water and so far it's still feeling pretty good.

Even with this much stated, the reality is there will no doubt come a time that I face the negativity of my assailants. Could it be a negative review to my upcoming book? Or perhaps it might come in a comment challenging my words even here on my blog?

Such attacks have come at many different hands over time. With the horses, perhaps it is someone who set out to destroy a destiny, or our top number one stud dying untimely and for no good reason.

What I'm getting at here, is life deals us so many set backs and what our perception of those set backs is will remain in control of our future and our ultimate destiny.

I for one know I have to fight my perceptions and negative thoughts! It is Satan Poop at it's best! I encourage you today to take a close look at your own perceptions.

Here, I want to mention a little different take on this. I found a comment from my aunt very thought provoking yesterday. She was talking about the promise more or less in visualizing. However, she shared a bit different take on it. Though she did not ask, it made me question such. At what point does visualizing become counter productive?

I want to address this as she brought up a valid point and I have to say, she did not put it the way I just did. She was just sharing how she has a tendency to go into a world of thought that everything is okay even when her body is clearly telling her something different. There is a difference between visualizing and denial!

I can not speak from a perspective other than as a believer in God and in God's promises. As much as I believe in those promises and the value of positive thinking and visualization, I also believe that God speaks to us through a variety of means. He has given us the ability to access help in several areas of our lives. Nonetheless in importance is the area of health and wellness.

When you're body is telling you something, don't pretend it away! If you are meant for divine healing, great! But perhaps you are part of someone else’s journey! Don't stop visualizing and thinking positive, but be sure to seek the assistance that is out there that God has given to you to help achieve the bigger picture!

Life is full of promise and I believe that today is a brand new, wonderful opportunity for all of us! (And this is my reality this morning!)

Have a great spring day!

Happiness to all!