Today I have received yet a few more messages of inspiration in the direction of our destiny lying entirely in our thoughts. I am working hard on those positive thoughts and still believing in the things I've been asking and discussing with God.

Today we had a great conversation - God and I that is. I told him that if I were a teenager approaching my parents for an answer to something I had been asking for I would go about it a bit differently. I would say Dad... Daddy.... I've been doing better. My grades are up and you promised. Sort of funny, but I really think he was engaged with me at this point. I told him of some friends that I thought we could help just as I would have my own parents when I had a friend in need.

I couldn't help but think of the movie "Dirty Dancing", which is one of my all time favorites. The scene I’m referring too is where she goes to her Dad to come help the girl who had the abortion. Then the other scene that fits in here is Patrick Swayze telling Baby that she was brave to turn to her father.

Is that how some see it? Brave, foolish, backed into a corner, or maybe just ridiculous... You can't talk to God like that. Do any of you ever recall telling your parents that they were making you angry when they didn't see things your way? Either by words or actions you showed them exactly how you felt... Right? I know I did, carefully, but I still did it. Honestly, sometimes I still do!

I am no different when I am dialoging with my Heavenly Father either. I sometimes tell him that if he wants me to be okay with some matter in the moment he is going to have to explain it because I simply don't get it! And like the faithful father he always has been to me, if I am open to hearing what he has to say about things, I come to understand... Or if not, I can agree to disagree with him. Though I don't advocate this method, I am respectful to the matter, seeing it occur so often with the foster kids in regard to our authority and not always agreeing.

The reality is that we are often angry with the outcome of life. We don't feel it was the right time for someone to be taken from us in death... We don't agree with the state of the world or the wars and crime we read and hear of so often. We didn't get what we thought we deserved. And so on... We hold on to anger and the greatest anger for many is that of which they feel toward God himself.

I see no point in not being honest with him when I'm displeased with his rulings surrounding my life and opinions there of. Why lie or try to hide it - he sees all, knows all and feels all. So, I just put it out there. It's a good way to learn to handle anger with our counterpart humans as well. I generally use more discretion when dialoging such anger toward the All Mighty... So, consider it practice for when I do so with one of the kids, Ron, my Mom or whomever.

Don't fret! God is still here for me - he doesn't apparently hold it against me. However, I'm realizing how often I attempt to move forward with out him. Much the same as when the kids make a decision that is generally harmless in nature but still should have been run by me first.... They end up with less lead way.

Therefore, I am working on asking, seeking and receiving in the way we were meant too. I am working on my thoughts, my words, and being cautious with what I want or ask for.

Today I had a pretty good conversation around all these things and as much as my stinking rotten sinful self doesn't probably deserve a pot to pee in... I know that he sees me for the good and with love. He knows my heart is right, at least today and I know he will give me the desires of my heart as I align with him. He will also protect me from such desires that would prove to be counter productive.

I trust him with it all and I am making a point of asking! It isn't so hard and I really think he likes our open communication without the formal stuff better anyway. One more thought - I also make sure I ask him to forgive the mistakes I've made, thank him for picking me up when I fall and acknowledge that I still have a lot to learn.

So, on positive thinking... Do I struggle? It's Thursday, and in as much, I have struggled even yet today!

For all familiar with my schedule as a foster parent, Thursday represents the day that is appointed as the day for weekly appointments, ie; counseling, groups, etc. Therefore, I tend to resent them on occasion.

Today is probably one of those days. I would just a soon stay home in the countryside on this beautiful first day of spring! I would rather not have to go in and do de-briefing with those the boys meet with and I surely don't feel like sitting in the community group in which our home is to benefit from in the bigger picture.

Some feel it is a small price to pay - giving up one day in turn for so many other days spent at home... I smile and consider that I suppose it may appear that way to many. However, the enlightening realization of this is as far from the truth as one can get.

My resentment comes in only light shades, nothing radical and stems from the realities of having to relive everything that occurs in my home with each of the boys and sometimes family members over and over and over again.

Sometimes someone will ask me why I didn't share some piece of information about what had occurred that day or week, but they don't stop to realize as foster parents how many times we revisit every matter both positive and negative. We don't go home at the end of the day and we can't just leave it at the office.

Unlike a biological mother who also faces great demands in life, we have all the same demands, but with kids who are generally angry, hurt, frustrated, hateful, lonely, desperate, at times aggressive, and so on... We work through the situations of any given day and then get to document on the calendar so we don't forget when we get to the end of the month weekly's. We have incident reports. We have about four to six different people for each child who have to be notified if it warrants... And so on.

What I'm saying is that it isn't the kids I resent, but the over processing. Thursdays are necessary and they are good. But sometimes it feels like system over load. I am thankful for all that is offered to us in support and services every Thursday. I appreciate the fact that people whose schedules are full the brim find time, make time and otherwise set us all as priority in their on-going efforts as well.

So, today when I arrive in Wheat Ridge to the office of which I have become so familiar with over the years I will be grateful for their ministry of service. I will submit to the time in which is necessary to see to matters at hand. I will remember to be thankful for all which this implies. But still, there is a child inside saying "I want to go to recess!" And maybe today, maybe I will skip community group or cancel it all together to spend a few extra minutes out of the office as opposed to inside of it!

After all, Friday follows Thursday, so it's all good!

Trusting the Process and finding the joy along the way. Yes, even in today's journey there remains joy!

Love to all!

Happy Hump Day! Yes, we are half way through the month and amazingly nearly 1/4 of the way through the New Year! Wow, times flies when you're having fun!

It is a quiet day - beautiful outside, where I should truly be. It's a bit windy but it's a warm wind. The unfortunate piece of this is the drying affect the winds warm or cold have on the ground surface. The things one comes to realize when they live out on the land as opposed to city dwelling or even small sub-division living on small ranchettes. It's quite different and expands one's knowledge and understanding of the weather patterns.

By the way, I finally added some pictures to my gallery! I have included pictures of our two current stallions and our old stud who is the daddy of our current Palomino stallion. Also, a couple other horse pics including an old baby picture, just because. I will have to add some more or change some out from time to time.

I am eagerly awaiting a good word on something... anything! In the meantime, visualizing what I might want to do to the yard of "The Big House on the Hill". I decided that along a berm area just a slight distance from the house I would like to put in lattice sections (white of course) and plant grape vines to grow on them. It would be so pretty and I don't think it would be too costly. I have promised myself I would not put in another in ground pond but have not ruled out putting in container type water features. They have so many options available now days and they are so much easier to care for than the in-ground ponds that I have toyed with here where we currently live and our past home as well.

Sound like positive affirmation? It ought too! I'm telling you, I'm working at it! Positive visualization that is!

I watched a couple of old movies this week, one being David and Bathsheba and the other was Cleopatra. Geeze, how enlightening they were to watch and masterfully produced, I might add! Cleopatra and Mark Anthony... Wow, what a love story... Drama, Drama, Drama!!! At the height of success and power comes the entanglement of love and all it implies. It certainly makes me reevaluate my less complicated life matters.

I have had my share of writing already today as I added to an essay that my aunt was working on for my second cousin. I enjoy essays which most people simply can't understand. They are short, by comparison to a book anyway... And they generally have a set topic or purpose rendering the point of conclusion before you ever get started. I have always thrived when working on short stories that are done in essay fashion, but I admit more than one of them sit untapped in the filing cabinet as they are simply too long for most contests.

Truly this could be said of most of my poetry as well. Many don't know I have a hankering for this writing genre as well. A couple of my poems were published or accepted to be published prior to my being censored by The Fence Post rural life publication. It was some time ago and I suppose I simply never had a burring desire to send it out to any other such publications. Maybe some day I will compile some of the shorts and the poems into a book form and submit it for publishing all together??? It's a thought. Then again, I suppose on occasion in the future, when I dig some of them out I will share some right here on my blog.

The most common question I receive is how do you find time to write like you do? First of all, this blog is less than perfect with many typo's and editorial fopau's that would render it unpublishable. I don't spend a ton of time going over and over my entries every day, though I do attempt to check for major discrepancies, it simply is feasible to worry about perfection at this level while working independent of any editing assistance. Secondly, it is my gift. Much like the essay I worked on this afternoon. I admit it took me a matter of minutes to add and subtract from where I started. If I have the concept and idea in my mind I can usually run with it and have several pages pumped out in no time at all.

Yet, I have my days and weeks where inspiration escapes me. Those times when it's everything I can do to walk through the office doors and sit at the desk to begin typing. I also have projects that are calling my name daily that I simply have not had the fortitude to move forward on. Then there are those incredible concept stories that simply run out of gas. I have on many occasions gone back into some old project that I walked away from and thought to myself "Gee, that's pretty good stuff, wonder why I quit!"

I'm human just like the rest of us but human with a gift for the written word and the gift of gab... Put them together and see what you have? A blog in the making! Whoo Hoo!!!! lol

With this much said, I suppose I should get on with my daily visualizing and see what else I can get accomplished before the days done.

I'm visualizing hearing a word on the script, the book cover, or perhaps the house??? I am visualizing my son getting more jobs for his excavation business. I am visualizing more happiness, more laughter, more smiles, more joy, more giving, more God in our lives, more praise, more thanksgiving, more of everything that really counts!

Embracing the moment, the day and the week, celebrating The Resurrection and the love that abounds in my life! Trusting the process and all that implies!

Remember - "There is no such thing as a stranger, only friends you've yet to meet!" And "Smile, it makes everyone wonder what you've been up too!"

With love to all!

My last blog spoke of God being without limits… Therefore, speaking of no limits… I want to visit the process and progress of “The Big House on the Hill” as I know several of you are waiting with baited breath to get to come see us or should I say see the house that I have spoke so highly of. LoL

I have to admit that the banking and financial situations going on at the high end levels of our Nation and beyond this week, combined with a few more keys turned into the bank is not currently helping a great deal with our process. But that is just it, it’s a process!

But that is not to say that we are out of the race. I am confident that when the runners are nearing the finish line, they may be a few feet behind another runner or perhaps they are in front. But the reality is in that brief moment they are faced with a choice. They are exhausted, they have run the race of their lives and they simply don’t know if their body will give out or stay in the fight. They push through or they give up. The reality is that only one person wins first, second, third and so on. Therefore, we know instinctively that it is not everyone’s race to win.

I am fighting everything that I have inside of myself to not attempt to brace myself up for defeat. You know those defeatist considerations that seem so harmless such as, I’m okay either way, or it wasn’t meant to be… We all know there is time to say these sorts of justifying statements after the fact, but what causes us to not say them in the first place before we are even defeated? Personally I think it is nothing more than mindless pride! We don’t want the condescending tone of others voices ringing in our ears “I’m so sorry – I bet you’re so disappointed… BLAH BLAH BLAH! What the heck, I’ve been disappointed before and I know its part of life; so what’s the big deal?

I am not going to do that today. I am going to believe the word is going to come today or as soon as possible that the letter of credit is granted and the offer is made. I am going to believe that any plumbing repairs will be made and will come off the price of the house in the end. I am gong to believe that my furnishings are going to be beautiful in their respective rooms when they are all set up. I am going to think about what color I want to paint a couple of the rooms that need a fresh coat. I’m going to think positive that by late summer I will have my new barn and a few healthy foals gracing the top of the hillside.

Call it risky, say I may have to eat some humble pie, or take back all my thoughts; but I’m claiming it here and now and I don’t want to hear anyone say “You’re going to be so disappointed!”! Been there, done that, lived through it!

I have discovered something in creating this blog and entering some of my deepest thoughts into cyber space, available for the entire world to view! I have created a dynamic in which I have allowed myself to become vulnerable. This is something I have attempted to protect myself from at all cost for much of my life. Without even realizing what I had done, I have inadvertently put myself out there (via blogging) for the opinions, ridicule and scrutiny both good and not so good, of the world at large.

You may think to yourself “No biggie”. But I assure you for me this is huge!

However, without risk, without vulnerability, without blind faith, we are locked into reason and logic. No one ever won a humanitarian award on either of those ingredients! And very few will ever reach their potential if they do not allow themselves to move past that self limiting dynamic. I am amazed at the inspiration that I have been told of since beginning this blog. Still, I hear self limiting considerations of others in many of my responses. Not limiting me, but limiting them! Things such as “I have to have a degree”, “I don’t know who to contact”… I don’t, I can’t, what if…. The list of negative thoughts continues to grow and the reality is that it isn’t about any of these excuses but rather “I won’t!” I won’t put myself out there, I won’t take the chance at failing, I won’t, I won’t, I won’t.

Hopefully she won’t mind me saying so, but I have to consider my sister-in-law when I think along these lines. She is one of the most gifted photographers I have ever had the privilege of viewing their work, let alone have had the privilege to have family pictures done by her! She doesn’t take pictures, she creates magic! She has taken pictures of some of the biggest names in the Colorado region, but yet does so under someone else’s name. What has held her back? It sure isn’t her talent, her gift in her ability to create magical memories and visions on film; as she has most certainly got what it takes. At a very young age she was winning awards with her photography… Yet, you probably wouldn’t even know she is a world class photographer if you heard her name today.

A friend of my husband “Mr. Harold” is eighty years old, widowed a few years now and still going strong. He has been a self employed hair stylist, specializing in his own niche for the better part of his entire life. I admit he is a bit eccentric by most people’s standards, but charming in his own way. I was surprised to hear his latest enterprise and I have to tell you this is one of the most enterprising men I think I have ever met! Yes, at the youthful age of 80 this man decided to write his first book! I could be wrong on the order of the words in the title but it is something along the lines of “Healthy and Horny at 80.” He is pre-selling it without even trying! His second book which will more than likely be a hit following the first title – “Turn off’s and Turn On’s” Now tell me, if he can start a writing career that has the potential of putting him at the top of the best sellers list or as a guest on The Today Show or even the Jay Leno show at the age of 80… why would we believe we can’t achieve something outside of the realm of logic and what the world says we can in our own lives?

Guess what folks? This man is not a literary genius. I don’t know if he even has a college degree or not, but if he does I’d be willing to bet it isn’t in journalism and surely out dated by the time that has lapsed since such occasion! He’s his own best influence, trusting God is leading him forth from what I hear. Yes, I might add in admitting his beliefs, he gives the glory of his success to God; even with his writing… Though some may find the title offensive; I state, God is without limits!

I’d like for you all to join me and believe as well, not just for my destination “Big House on the Hill”, but also for your own gifts and manifestation of your own lives! God is not limited and I remind you, we are made in his image.

Yesterday is gone and we are forgiven, so pick up, pack up and ship out the old and bring in the new. That is after all, the glory of The Secret and the fact remains The Secret is not so new folks. It’s Biblically based and been around a long time! God has a hope and a plan for us all. Rather we get it right the first time around or not for several times, he is still in the process and I trust the process.

I hope you all jump on board and turn your lives over to God, trusting the path he sets before you and believing with all your heart in the gifts and dreams he has placed within you! Not one of us is an accident and not one of us is without a gift or purpose! Be inspired and be inspiring to those around you!

If you’re not sure about going to church this week – check out what’s available in your area and set the plan to join in the celebration of Jesus Christ Resurrection! The power is in the blood!

Have a great day and be blessed!

Tuesday March 18, 2008

Another beautiful, blue sky, Colorado morning has dawned. It is moments such as this when the world is at peace in my immediate surroundings, the sky is picturesque and the birds are singing here and there that I am consumed with the notion that it (the world) could go on for a very long time beyond this point. Of course, it should be noted I have not listened to the news today and the house is still and quiet. I like it this way, but it isn’t like this very often.

It is when the TV comes back on, rather it’s the news, the noise of the Price Is Right (which is in fact noisy) or the oil rigs pulling a brigade up the road leaving the horses in a cloud of suffocating dust for a few minutes, the world won’t seem so perfectly right as it does right now.

I read my last couple blog entries to Ron as we were driving down the road the other day to visit his Mother. As I have mentioned, I had some reservations about writing about his father’s passing in any event but I felt with the personal nature of it that I wanted to share it with him. Is this his Dad’s doing? Did he want the message of that period in time redelivered? Interestingly enough, we have to wonder if he’s passing through, stopping in to say hello or what since as one of the comments was about a dream of him. I don’t know but I do know I was somewhat surprised at the outcome of my reading it to Ron. The kids (Chad and Kelly) were in the car as well as we rode together that day. No one said much. I asked Ron what he thought and he obliged me with few words of acknowledgment but was gracious enough to say it was good. No one else commented.

We arrived at his Mom’s home and had a very nice meal, celebrating Chad’s birthday and visiting since we had not been together since Christmas. We laughed, joked and brought one another up to date on what was new.

Following the cake and ice cream we sat in the living room watching HGTV before Home Makeover came on, which is Chad’s all time favorite show, second only to the HGTV network. It was here that Ron took me back a peg or two by suggesting that I read the blog to his Mom. Was he out of his mind? I really didn’t see this as an option and felt very uncomfortable with the whole idea. He knew how I felt about really disclosing any of this so why would he say that? I hesitated and after a few minutes realized at this point she would be wondering what was so bad in what I composed that I would not want her to read it. Not truly feeling this was an option, to leave her hanging and wondering I went to the car and retrieved the printed copy. I didn’t choose to read it out loud – no need. I handed it to her to read. She did. It appeared a few moments of emotion were evident as she read, but I was unsure if this had been a good idea regardless.

She complimented my writing and said little about the content. I know it is difficult to relive the day it occurred and no doubt the writing had escorted her back in time to six years prior nearly to the day. A mixed bag of emotions no doubt were created and stirred up by the considerations of the words she read.

However, in the after math of the whole matter, I was left wondering what in the world this was all about and why did it occur now? I have not had any inclination to write about any of these such incidents in my life, but for some reason the wheels were prompted into motion last week and they still continue to turn. It’s like an old steam engine, retired on the track with no cause or purpose. Suddenly, an old engineer shows up and before you know it the steam engine is starting to move. It starts out slow, and then it becomes methodical as it courses down the track gaining momentum. The passers by do not know where it came from or where it will end, it just goes by with an unknown mission and quest at the other end of its journey.

However, with this much said, there is more I need to elaborate on here. It has to do with my belief system and since these words have come from me, I only feel it fair that I add some additional thoughts to the mix.

I do not seek the spirit world and I feel it is a dangerous venue to enter into. I know that I have had inexplicable occurrences in my life that defy explanation by the logic of our world. I believe we are surrounded by angels who God has blessed us with to watch over and assist us in our journey here. I do not oppose the idea there are good and positive forces within the spirit world. However, I am well aware that there is also much darkness in the spirit world. Satan is the prince of the air and we’d be foolish to forget or underestimate this reality. The king and inventor of lies and treachery will stop at no means to fall a believer.

I recall a period in time in my life when I was seeking a deeper awareness… I wanted to be more connected and spiritual if you will. In the process, as I look back on this I realize now how many people were perfectly placed for what was to follow could in fact take place. I began meditating, considering it a deeper prayer time. It was relaxing and I found myself able to re-focus. I believe in meditation still, but I’ve altered it significantly. People were appearing in my life that seemed to know more about me than they should have from very personal goals to life time dreams and ambitions. Only God himself could know such intimate things about me, or so I thought. I know without a doubt today it was not God! I fell down and by the grace of God I was picked back up nearly as fast. The process took several months to develop but when I realized I was backsliding from everything that I knew to be true in my life and relationships I had to take a closer look. I could see how cleverly the path was set out before me and how easily I had chosen to walk it. After all it was a beautiful path, lined with promise, dreams come true and love without boundaries. It played out more like a horror movie in the bigger picture but still left me wondering. I wondered how certain people knew so much about me, how the path to what I thought was a deeper connection with my creator could lead to a harder spiritual fall than I have ever taken before and more questions remained.

I know that God truly does use all things in our lives for good and he most certainly used this whole experience in mine for good. However, it is in this experience that I am led to caution when getting too hyped up over things such as I shared the past few days. It’s not always what we hope or think it is. If you are not totally focusing on, asking, seeking and thanking God for all things than you can assume that you have at least left a window unlocked for Satan to take hold. It may not bring you down and you may never know what I knew in my experience; however, the fact remains the same. We do not want to separate ourselves from that which protects, guides, loves and saves us from the evil that has enveloped our world and is at times even created from our own seemingly innocent foolishness and follies. Remember, the Bible is clear in stating that our wisdom is foolishness to God’s omnificent knowledge and power.

So, going back to what the timing, purpose or meaning in Friday night’s blog might have been? Perhaps it is all about emotional and relational healing. I have my reasons for saying this but I am not God and I don’t pretend or presume to know or even begin to understand the ways or the means by which he sets our feet on the straight and narrow path when we waiver. I do not claim to know such things, but I wonder sometimes if healing doesn’t really begin with just simply agreeing with ourselves that we can love unconditionally, forgive and move forward without having to be in agreement with those we need to restore.

My hope in all of this can be no more than a message delivered. It maybe a message to whomever needs to hear it, and that could be someone outside of the situation all together. Rather they believe the means by which it came or not, the message remains the same. I am reminded that the Lord is without limitation!

 It's no more than quiet dew kissed morning in the country. Rather cool from the passing front but spring is certainly in the air.

I woke this morning to the sounds of birds chirping here and there in the trees outside our bedroom window. At times it is an unwelcome sound and perhaps I should have felt that way this morning, since I could have slept later. But for whatever reason they didn't disturb my peace of mind today, in fact I found the sounds easy to wake to. At least the alarm didn't go off an hour and a half earlier today!

Ron generally works 6 days a week through the winter, and on more occasions than not even has to pull a skeleton schedule on Sunday's too when the wells are prone to freezes and such. However, the summer isn't quite as demanding. Even when he has to work his turn at a Saturday schedule, the days are short. It's a good thing it comes when it does as he sometimes looks like he's about to collapse. I admire his ability to do his job... I honestly don't think I could keep up, and I know I wouldn't want too.

The point that I'm making isn't really about his winter work schedule but one more sign of spring and the on-going renewal. Even those who have to work so hard to maintain our lives through the winter are offered a season of regeneration.

I can't help but acknowledge how so many things appear to be unfolding much the same as the new flower budding and then slowly opening and revealing the completed project. So it has been with our positive mind sets that our lives are unfolding on course right now.

It's hard to understand how nature takes care of itself, we just have to trust and have faith that it will and it does. Our faith is so conclusive in these matters much of the time we simply take it for granted. But we should at least take the time to acknowledge it from time to time. That is where I am today. At least acknowledging the realities of how things seem to fall into place when we just believe, visualize, walk with the Lord's will for us, and have faith beyond our own ability!

I'm reminded of the miracle of birth as Chad's 21st birthday was celebrated yesterday. It was an awesome day for him and his excitement for the future was radiant and visible!

He was more than surprised at getting a beautiful hand crafted competition water ski, which he had only dreamed of. He didn't even guess it was what it was which is amazing considering the size and shape of the box... But it was nearly unthinkable! They got a good deal! A too boot, he received a new 'used' roping saddle.

It's sort of funny the story on the saddle. We've looked around here and there for awhile now and not really found anything we could justify buying.... So what were the chances that we wouldn't find this one until the Friday before his Saturday birthday?

Better yet, it was a package deal - "have horse will travel". Complete with a rope (lariat), hoof pick, bosal headstall, breast collar and spurs.

Amazingly, they are all of good quality and if bought individually new or used in an environment where one normally goes to buy such things would have surely cost a great sum more than we were able to get it all for. I wanted to put in the 90 day lay away but Ron was able to cover it and therefore Chad got it on his birthday. He's played at roping here and there but hopes to get into it more in the future. Ironically, he was talking about that in the morning before he received his gifts! But the funny part is, this is the first actual saddle we have ever bought him.

I wondered how that can happen? How can you have horses as we have, and have only one child that you have never bought a saddle for beyond the toddler saddle we bought at an auction for him for $50.00? I concluded with all the odds and ends we have around here and the fact he was still growing, it just never seemed to be a priority. But it struck me as rather odd when I really thought about it. He acknowledged this as well - it's just odd.

We also returned to "The Big House on the Hill" yesterday. Hmmm... I think I like the sound of that as a title. Probably already used, but if not, maybe I will have a book in this one?

Anyway, we had a bit more time to walk through and investigate our water concerns a bit further. We found a few obvious problems that will need immediate attention and are easy fixes. But we found no ceiling, wall or floor damage. It does appear the toilet upstairs may have broken from the water, but there are no visible signs of it. Other than the crack, there are no other signs of damage, following the lines from one floor to the next.

We have an incredible realtor - who by many examples I may think a buyer is better without the added expense, unless you have no means of promoting the sale and need the marketing budget this affords you. However, this is not one of those cases. Again, I feel blessed that somehow we hooked up with this fellow.

Interestingly, he was the realtor who had listed the house we looked at near the feedlot that sold before we even made an offer. Keep in mind; I was never sold 100% on the property to begin with. It was a pretty good price, but I still think that was due in part to it's proximity to the large feed lot near by.

However, we didn't work with him on that property. The listing had expired, we had a previous listing info and then contacted the owner directly. However, when the whole deal fell apart with a cash offer from another buyer, for some unknown reason Chad decided to call this guy. I think he was just interested to know if the fellow had been on the level. The answer was more or less, but not 100%.

Chad liked him and decided to tell him what we were looking for. He accepted the challenge. He mentioned "The Big House on the Hill" to Chad who immediately ruled it out, saying that I wouldn't be enough land to appease his mother - that would be me.

But when he began to tell us about the Victorian house and who had lived there previously, if nothing else my curiosity was peaked. I asked if there was any surrounding land with the "Big House" which Chad didn't know. So, we went for a drive last Saturday, Mom the kids and I that is, took a road trip. They gave us the road and approximate location. With the age and size of the house and notably a restored Victorian style, we figured how hard could it be to find it to at least drive by.

We went further down the road they told us than we were directed, but sure enough about a half a mile further we found an absolutely beautiful COMPLETELY restored, large Victorian house that was located right off the paved through road. I found it next to impossible to believe this house was for sale, let alone for sale for this amount of money!

Still, no one seemed to interested in such a limited number of acres. We drove all around a large area and finally Ron submitted to my request to go drive by that house we had found. On the way we get the call that the other house could be viewed shortly so we cut our trip short, returning to the other house to walk through. This was another big, old, farm house not as far from where we currently live. It sat on 70 acres and very nice land at that... However, the land had no exemptions remaining and would not have any until nearly 2011. It simply wouldn't work then.

By the time we were done it was too late to drive by the house Mom and I had found. Still, doubting that they were right, at the time we met up with the realtor to go through the farm house I asked about the address of "The Big House on the Hill." Both my Mom and I were nearly certain the road number Chad and Kelly gave us was not the same.

That was too bad as we both agreed we'd like to have at least seen the house we located on that day, but it would explain why there were no for sale signs. lol But with the new address in hand, we journeyed out on Monday, just Mom and I. We found it... The rest of the story you already know from this week’s previous blogs.

I have no doubt in my mind we all could see living there it... But honestly, up to the time we returned yesterday to walk through one more time, I wasn't too sure what Ron's thoughts were. Following our visit we seemed to all be on the same page.

The banker seems to think it looks good. The realtor is so sharp! He has so much knowledge on water issues, development matters, exemptions, etc. So, he has already brainstormed the way that we are presenting a contract (if we get the go ahead) in spite of the banks foreclosure holding policy of sales being "As Is", to go forth with testing the entire plumbing system and not be stuck with the house if there is a problem. As I said, he's got a lot on the ball.

So, where do we go from here? More hurry up and wait.

I had some ideas about how to set up the master suite and a few odds and ends. With the second walk though I know I will have to work on my design creations a bit further. It's the whole visualization thing after all!

I am looking forward to the spring and summer one way or the other. With tighter lending restrictions and all things considered, if it doesn't work out, I still have a lot to work with right where I'm at. It's not unworkable, but I do feel the winds of change blowing stronger. I have sensed them coming for some time now and was very unclear as to where God was leading us. Wyoming, South Western Colorado, Nebraska, or maybe right here in the same region we have lived for the past ten years. I wasn't sure then and still have no concrete knowledge to date. However, I'm okay with whatever it is God has in store for us.

Again, I state, if I died tomorrow I died with a beautiful vision and sometimes the vision is better than the reality. So, it's all good. In the event the vision becomes a reality in our near future... I'm sure I'll be able to deal with it just fine!

Enjoy today and recall if you will that this week is at least symbolically the anniversary of the last week of Jesus life on earth. I for one wish to reflect on the gifts, the price and the love that this beautiful occasion represents for all of us who accept him as our Lord and Savior! So, go forth in his love and be blessed by blessing others! Also know as "Paying it forward".

Trust the Process… You’re not alive without a purpose. I don’t know what message is in this writing or who the messages may be for, but I do know that God can use anything and everything in his infinite power. Be open to what it is that you are being led in or where you are being led too! This is just one stop in your journey!