Last night when I completed my blog for Saturday I was not inclined to re-read and correct any spelling or content errors. So, this morning I opted to take care of it after the fact. I'm aware that at least a few of you had already read it before the edits and knowing no one will want to go back and re-read it, I opted to copy and paste the additional comment toward the end of the blog on to today's message.

Truthfully, I even considered just making it a part of today's blog but opted to leave it in yesterdays. So, for those of you who read it there, perhaps there is reason that God wanted you to read it more than once... But if not, then just skip it!
Quote Begins:
"One additional thought… Remember, The Good Word tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger. How can we embrace the new day as the gift that it is if we have carried over such emotional baggage?

Therefore, heed the consideration and never allow the devil such opportunities to minimize your blessings! Agree with yourself today that you will not let such negative passion rule your subconscious by going to bed with kempt up anger. Give it to God and agree to let it go. Sometimes it is no more than agreeing to disagree. More often then not, holding onto anger is a choice and clearly the only right choice is to let it go! Life has far too much promise to be pursued to waste it in such mindless head games that serve no value in achieving our ultimate blessings and God given purpose!

Sure we all get annoyed, hurt, and down right angry. However, it’s our choice as to what to do with those annoyances! Let them go and set your mind on higher matters! If the sun goes down on your anger, chances are it will rise with it as well…. Bless yourself and those around you by heeding this Biblical warning!"
Quote ends.

Anger.... I have spent many of days, sleepless nights and in between times making me to well acquainted with this entity. Though in general it is a natural and necessary piece of our lives, it can cause us to plant ourselves and take root in a place we were never meant to stop at.

I watch those around me and as I see things not so much more than simply staying the same, I see others unwinding over such considerations. I don't know what divine purpose there is any of this, but it does occur to me that we are all on a journey of life lessons that are intended for our good, not our demise. Therefore, when the trials of life come against us, I for one am inclined to look it up and down, inside and out to find the purpose and reason for the lesson. There is always something hidden, though undoubtedly more often than not it is subtle.

In addition, more often than not it is not for some time into the future that I can truly see the value in some of the seemingly horrific things that happen on this earth.

I bet there will be at least one person who will take this to imply that God causes, or wills bad things to happen. Not! That is simply not my intention or implication in any way, shape or form!

God gave us free will, free will to choose who and what we will serve not just in one area of our life, but in all areas. Evil is an inherent result of Satan attempting to befall the earth and working his deceitful magic in the Garden of Eden so many thousands of years ago!

I truly believe that all things are either of good or of evil. Perhaps things don't happen in our time and we grow impatient, or worried, maybe even angry. But we create the reality by not accepting that if we remain grounded in Christ Jesus and commit our day and our attitude to and toward him, then we will find ourselves right where we are meant to be.

On the other hand, it occurs to me that often we are guided to that one place we are truly meant to be and miss the neon signs flashing right in front of us. Deception at it's best if you will. But the truth of the matter is that even when we miss the exit, there is always another way to get there. God has promised that and then created a world in which we live that constantly reflects this same very principle. That is simply stated, why it is so easy to find analogy after analogy to make a point of fact for Christ!

I wish for nothing more than for all to be able to let go of the worldly value of things, status and popular opinion and just let God! I mean, truly to live a life without worry or at least less of it...And to be above the abstract considerations of the devil's playground so that we would never be sucked into playing there... Yet, it is so second nature for us all to jump on the merry-go-round of sin, that we don't even realize we're doing it a good 90% of the time!

Truly, that is scary if we really give it some consideration. It also drives home the point of unconditional love of our Savior and the glory, grace and mercy we find in accepting him into our lives. Still, with such a profound commitment, we as humans struggle.

We struggle with the flesh, sexually, emotionally, socially and even economically. We are caught in the snares of temptation over and over and still over again. We can see where as a child touches a hot surface unknowingly, they will likely and most generally learn not to touch it again. Yet, we as humans regardless of age cannot seem to grasp the concept "if we play with fire, we are going to get burned!" It makes me wonder what's really wrong with us sometimes... Are we truly that blind or dense? Me included!

I fight temptation on a daily, hourly and minute by minute basis. And though I think I am making great strides in some of my weakest areas, I also know there is so much more to conquer that I will be working on this unfulfilled objective to my dying breath.

I don't really believe in reincarnation... But geeze, if it were to happen, I for one don't want to be involved in having to return for another attempt to get it right. And if I am on a second, third or many thousands of times back around, I want this to be the last!

The reality is that God has a plan for each of us, a plan for good and to prosper us in his ways. I want to believe bold enough, love bold enough, and grab hold of enough faith with such boldness that I cannot help but overcome all that tempts me and thrive in God's promise for my life!

I want to let go of the emotions, be them hurt, anger, resentment, jealousy or any other negative feeling we all know if we're honest; to live the life that I know is mine to live, in his name and to his glory!

The fact is with the reality of the economy, I don't know what will come of our hopes and prayer requests... But I do know that God is able and I do know that I am commissioned to believe with child like faith and to have an expectant attitude toward the things I bring before him. Therefore, I am continuing to embrace the process and trust that all things in his time and all lessons, even those which are less than desirable, have a higher purpose.

I believe there are many of us out there today who need hope. My desire is that in sharing my own personal reflections with you, that you may seek and find the hope and renewed faith that you as well are in need of.

Have a great day and Thank God we are finally getting some traces of moisture here in our region! I know the state is at record levels of snow fall in many areas, but here we've been dry. Surely part of a lesson as well, but the truth of the matter is any moisture is welcome considering are last measurable snow fall at the farm was the first week of January! The rest has remained dry, with scant snow flakes and rain drops that the earth consumes immediately in its abundant need for hydration!

Be blessed and grab hold of your promise! Today is a great day and the beginning of a great week! Believe it, no matter what giants you face or that come in your path, keep on believing!

Today, Saturday... A good day. Time gone that cannot be found again, as we know when it passes it is never to be for a second chance.

It is a day of smiles, frowns, happiness, anger, sadness, realizations and more. I think of today and I realize that it was a day with a full range of emotions by all involved in it.

What is the point in my observation you ask? It was a day well lived. It was a day full of life; both good and perhaps not so good. It had all the components of a full life. This is nearly all we can hope for or ask for when each new dawn begins.

I too often wonder at the end of a day where it went and what did I do with it? I almost find myself a bit blue or depressed over such occasions without even acknowledging as much. I know why though, as I observe today.

Days that pass without acknowledgement or accomplishment often represent time lost. Time is such a valuable commodity yet we all take it so for granted! There are many things we take for granted, such as the sunrise and sunset...Each breath we take...The youth of our children…And in reality, Life and Death itself.

Oh sure, we all wish we had one more day with a loved one who has passed on. Most of us have wished we had checked the meal cooking in the kitchen before it burned... Many of us wish we had pursued a dream or goal of days past.... But we rarely stop to consider that today. Today is truly a gift that will never be given to us again. When it is done and gone, it is gone forever.

Therefore, the lessons in such thoughts are to realize that every day is a gift. Every day is time granted to find renewal, restoration and to take new steps toward your dreams and goals. We should attempt to embrace every day, remembering that it will never be ours again. When it's gone it's gone for good. Live today as though you realize the significance in a day well spent. Attempt this remembrance even though on those rough days, it can be quite an accomplishment to give such thoughts credence. Live today only to find yourself with no regrets at it's close.

If we set forth on a path to embrace each day as a gift, as a wonder, as the miracle that it truly is, then we will find far fewer days, weeks, months and years wasted or squandered away. Choose this day to be thankful for the moment, for each breath you take, for the sunrise and sunset, for the promise of tomorrow, but most of all for the time that is granted to realize, discover, explore, embrace, live and love life in it's fullest form!

Today we have brought to an end in a most passionate manner in our home. A gate to the one of our horse pens was not fastened. Three geldings reside within, so when we pulled in the drive to see only two of the horses standing outside of their fenced and obviously unsecured perimeters there was more than an anxious moment. It was a moment of threat, fear, anxiousness, anger, fury, and little good. Yet, in the end, the third horse, which is my son's baby and is totally deaf, was still, THANK GOD, in the pen, down the hill, unknowing of what was going on. That was at least until someone went down to check on him and he then realized he had better come up to check things out for himself.

The most frightening moment hit when the two youngsters finding their way at mach speed to the road...A very dark, gravel road with a vehicle approaching. I could only hope and pray that it was Chad and Kelly who I presumed would not be too far behind us in arriving home. It was, but it didn't stop me from running out in front of the oncoming vehicle to insure who ever it was stopped and realized the precious commodity running fearfully back toward their familiar driveway. Once back in the confines of our farm yard I took a brief sigh of relief. With Chad and Kelly’s arrival to the scene we now had one vehicle to use head lights and the other to block the drive. We managed to get them in with only a few more scary situations, such as when the two year old considered jumping or going through an aluminum gate to get back in the pen of which he missed the turn when the older of the two had made it back safely....

The long and the short of it was all those initial negatives were each in themselves derived of love and commitment to these creatures we signed on to be the caregiver’s of.

Once safely in the pen, they were checked out, as were the other horses in other pens of whom were bouncing and bucking in the moment of excitement in the barn yard.... Only Princess, Chad's young mare that has had a sore back leg was a bit sorer as a result. Every time she starts to heal up, it seems she has some reason to re-injure herself... What can you do, as such is life.

However, whenever something like this occurs it truly drives home the reality of what a person is really made of.

I consider the day, all the fun that was had, the laughs, the dining, the roping we attended to let the boys see how it is done... Then I consider how it was concluded and I realize we were alive. The day was well spent - though the gate should not have been left without double security as they are supposed to be... Even so, all is well and I know once more, God truly is watching over us.

We all have many lessons to learn in this life and I have no doubt that there were lessons in all of this day for all of us as well. Though, we may not always see it clearly, we are growing and maturing toward the final goal... Toward the graduation from this life to something far greater than anything we could ever even imagine. I choose to meet that graduation day with exuberance and hopefully with few regrets. I'm working on my next or more like my last thirty years and I hope that I can begin to embrace each day as the gift I am learning it truly is!

One additional thought… Remember, The Good Word tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger. How can we embrace the new day as the gift that it is if we have carried over such emotional baggage?

Therefore, heed the consideration and never allow the devil such opportunities to minimize your blessings! Agree with yourself today that you will not let such negative passion rule your subconscious by going to bed with kempt up anger. Give it to God and agree to let it go. Sometimes it is no more than agreeing to disagree. More often then not, holding onto anger is a choice and clearly the only right choice is to let it go! Life has far too much promise to be pursued to waste it in such mindless head games that serve no value in achieving our ultimate blessings and God given purpose!

Sure we all get annoyed, hurt, and down right angry. However, it’s our choice as to what to do with those annoyances! Let them go and set your mind on higher matters! If the sun goes down on your anger, chances are it will rise with it as well…. Bless yourself and those around you by heeding this Biblical warning!

On that note, it's late.
Good Night, God Bless and Sleep Well!

It is so "US"... The whole of our society of who know the definition for the acronym TGIF! "Thank God It's Friday!"

Yes, everyone seems to know this one, even those who do not share the glee of the day due to weekend work schedules; or mothers taxed at the idea of the kids being home from school for two full days...in my case, a full week too. Yes, next week is our spring break. This simply equates to a full week with four kiddos, at least two who would rather be just about anywhere but here.

Ah alas, something to look forward too!

That brings to mind, why would they think it is simply the worst place in the world to be stuck living at? After all, haven't several youth preceded them successfully? Why yes, there have been many who have come before and made it successfully through the plague of placement woes and unhappiness.

Why would they feel any differt, after all, they have grown up in a world of youth whom believe that work entails walking to the video cabinet to pick out the next interactive game to play or movie to watch!

Would it be any wonder that youth from this same generation seem to believe they should not have to partake in anything that requires physical effort for a purpose other than self gratification? Probably not! Least of all, shoveling horse manure! God forbid they should have to partake in the responsibilities of living on a farm and even more the case is made by the fact I'm not out there shoveling with them. lol

Then again, if I were they would not be getting away with taking four hours to do 30 minutes worth of work. Hence, the outcome would be 'I'm an unreasonable slave driver' and their argument that 'these are not their horses' would remain the same.

The amusing piece in this I suppose is the reality of many youth from my years before foster care who would come to me begging to do chores, pull weeds, clean house or any other form of re-payment in turn to get to go to the stable to just be around the horses, let alone the riding lessons and more. Many were no more than eight years old and demonstrated a work ethic that my current teen age foster sons would narrow by comparison too! All of whom willing said they wanted to come here, to help with the horses, including manure clean up, and absolutely loved horses.... Hmmmm..... Where then, did it go astray?

I'm not sure, but I can tell you undoubtedly every one of them who has remained in contact with us beyond their time of living with us has come back to say how easy they had it back when and they wish they could re-do it and make it different. More than one has even requested to move back. Unfortunately, that is not generally an option.

It does leave me to wonder, how did we as a society get to the point that we are now at with our youth? Was it the age of cell phones? Video games? The intensity of Gang related activity? I suppose we can contribute the outcome to a bit of each of these and so much more as our society has hit an all time low in morality, integrity and ethics. However, I have to marvel at the lack of incentive and motivation that so many of the youth today have; even far greater than their counter parts of five to ten years ago. The sad realization is how difficult it then becomes for them to survive when they venture out on their own.

What is maybe the most shocking revelation in it all is there presumption to being entitled. To what you may ask? Perhaps it is not the case in many foster homes, so I can't speak on behalf of others on a whole. But in our case, we take the boys out to dinner and other various activities on a fairly regular basis. Friday nights are pizza night. We do things such as bowling, fun trade shows for things like camping and sportsman type things. We go to local auto races, picnics in the mountains, horse shows, rodeo's, camping, boating, water skiing, water tubing, a winter family vacation in the Colorado mountains at a condo with an indoor swimming pool every December, snow tubing at the ski area this past year, horse back riding lessons if they are interested, swimming, go to the park to shoot hoops and more.

I'd love then to know how, with the amount of money spent on them and the privileges that many kids (not just foster kids) will never get a shot at; that these guys (who have been in trouble with the law, as a result have few to no choices of places to live beyond our willingness to take them in; who bring their emotional baggage, anger, resentment and hurts along with them to dish out in our direction in ample doses; have broken, destroyed and disrespected our home, property and privacy, in addition to attempting to get anyone in trouble at any opportunity) still have the audacity to believe they should not have to assist or be expected to assume full responsibility for chores that elementary age children are capable of doing???

It is a bewildering matter and if asked, many would simply cop an attitude saying something like "I don't care about those things..." To say “thank you” is in their young and unknowing minds going all out in repaying any privileges they may have received. Then again, we keep in mind they have a mind set of expectancy and entitlement of which the system and our society has created.

I laugh when I hear them say the only reason I do foster care is to have them do my chores... Considering how things used to be done when I had a life outside of four youth with broken lives, as opposed to how they are now. I find humor in their presumption it's all about money as well. Though, I can't hold any of it against them. After all, they have never had to make their own way in the world. They have never had to pay rent, utilities, phone, water, gas, maintenance, and so on. They don't have a clue what it cost per month per child to maintain the life they all become perhaps a bit too comfortable living while here.

And as stated, so many have repented of their hateful and many times hurtful comments and actions long after the fact. We have received many apologies for things they did long before while living with us. I willingly welcome their comments and presence back into the folds of the family, knowing that life has redeemed our home in their young adult eyes.

Even if not until that wonderful time in life, when they learn that perhaps they don't know everything after all, the reality of my words do finally find a place to take root in each of their minds and hearts.

Perhaps that is how it will have to be with the majority of them from this time forward. I suppose I can live with that. Even in spite of the reality that all too often it feels like we are doing for, giving to, loving and caring a houseful of ungrateful and unappreciative recipients until that day arrives, all too often not until after they no longer live with us..

Such is the life of an invested foster parent. No one ever said it was going to be easy. I take Jesus as my role model here.... He still to date, after thousands of years, continues to love, care for, listen to and answer all of us. I don't know about you, but I suppose my gratitude has been comparable to the youth we care for on more than one occasion.

In this, I am reminded once more to seek forgiveness for my presumptions, anger, attitude, emotional baggage and so much more... I am on bended knee asking humbly what it is that I can do to repay what he has offered me. Yet I know full well, there is nothing I could do in turn... His love, his gift, his life, his suffrage and his blood all came at such a high price that I would never even be able to consider approaching the foot of his throne if not for his grace and mercy.

Therefore, I am humbly reminded that what I do in service to others, be it the youth in my home or others in my community and beyond, is but a small fraction of his example. I recognize the need to maintain such humility, grace and mercy in all that I do or attempt in this life!

I really wasn't sure where this was going when I started it today, but I clearly see God had a purpose and direction in which he was taking my words and my thoughts now! Our God truly is an awesome and incredible God! I seek to recommit my life to him once more, even again... To live my life and serve in any capacity that he leads me to, is a life well spent!

I hope you are encouraged by my thoughts and words today in a way that will assist you all in facing the giants and skeletons in your own lives... Remember, nothing is too big for God!

And by the way, the bank is late! I said by noon today and here it is approaching late afternoon and no word! God's timing, not ours...

Keep visualizing and seek the promise and fulfillment in your life that God had set before you were born! He has a plan of good for you, a plan to prosper the ways of your life! Seek first the kingdom of Heaven and all else will be added! God Bless Us Everyone!

Love to all!

I'm feeling a bit unmotivated this evening, but then again that is not so far off of the week. It's been a tough week to get my heart into but I am thinking positive that it's going out with a bang so to speak. I am looking forward to word from the bank tomorrow - as Pam suggested I gave the visualization a time line... Friday by noon sounded reasonable to me, so that's what I went with.

We are all a bit puzzled by now as to the timing on this matter... Surely a solid no would have come awhile back, but then again it's taking an awful long time for a yes as well.

I have to say, it's really tough for people like me, those who are always trying to out guess the next move by the world around them...

Yes, it's tough to sit back and trust the process... That is why I have to write it, read it and repeat the quote "God is in the process.... Therefore trust the process." As often as I do!

All those wonderful cliche's such as "Let go and Let God".... And so on. So, now I once more show a more vulnerable and undesireable side to my person. I hate to adamit to it, but it can and has been interpreted on one or two occassions as a control issue. Who me??? Nah!!!!

So, here I am Thursday night, unmotivated, bloated from too much dinner, worn out and most of all finding that all the negatives are no doubt a means of dealing with waiting.

I dare say, Chad is not much better at this waiting game than I am with the business's existance on the line. I suppose he comes by it all too naturally.

Perhaps, these are not such good traits, but at times I belive they have been beneficial. As with any gift, it can be abused or simply misused if not careful.

On that note, and admittedly acknowledging that I am rambling here tonight, I believe I will call it good at this and go to bed early for a change. Maybe there will be something inspiring on the TV in our room and I will fall into sleep with more emotional fulfillment than what I am offering here tonight!

Thanks for hanging in there!

Love to all!
Good Night

Be sure to check out the pictures in my profile gallery area here at Blogstream!! They are there now! I just got them done for you to see and help us along with your prayers and visualizing! I suppose I should get a picture of the two backhoes that Chad has for his business to get some visualization and prayer asisstance there as well!