Okay, first of all, I need to share about the book I just finished....
"The Shack". It was amazing in so many ways that I happened across reading this book at the same time as a church body undertaking the "Experiencing God Together" experience. The book is enlightening and an excellent read for anyone and everyone. I highly reccomend it! I would like to discuss it here but I sure wouldn't want to spoil the story line or plot for anyone who may take the suggestion to read it!

Now, in light of the title of my blog... A title chosen to attract some additional attention and a subject matter of which has intrigued me, but in a much deeper sense of the word than the surface "I am my own God" thing that seems to be so popular these days. I am not my own God but I have God living in me; and that is just as it is meant to be. The secret is no secret at all... Not really! Yet God's promises seem to be so lost in today's society that I suppose that even as a strong believer I could see where the muddled up way the world system tends to thing, that it could be perceived as a secret.... In spite of the fact the truths, promises and so-called secret has been in print in the most popular, most translated,longest lasting best seller in all of history for hundreds and hundreds of years! Not sure what I'm referring to yet? THE BIBLE!!!

So what exactly is the secret in my opinion, you ask? The secret is simply enough stated as "relationship". Not to be confused with the simplicity of understanding relationship at the core of one's life... Not so simple at all, but not because God had some mystery planned and plotted out for all of time to keep us from the great discovery... Not at all! In fact, the mystery is only in ourselves and our own emotionally and socially impoverished state of being.

If one seeks God they will surely find him. If you truly want to believe it is not so difficult, yet people make it the most difficult matter I believe I have ever known of. It's folly and foolishness on the parts of us here in and of the world system by our own choices. The world is disrupted and cold by many standards but the evil accord and all that this may imply is not of God's choices....

As independent as we were to choose sin and seperation from God we are also just as independent and empowered to enter into relationship with God with the greatest gift and promise that mankind has ever known!

Okay, that is my sermon for the day. I have to tell you, I am working on "relationship" as it tends to go against much of what I have embraced in the solitude of my own little world. Some mandated from past hurts, some from my own selfish inhibitions. It is first a decision and secondly a process within a journey to reach even the most micro mini levels of understanding in the depths of our own souls. To understand is not to read a blog, a book, an article or even a scripture here or there... Not at all! To understand it is to enter into it and to embrace it with all your spirit. Spirit??? Did I say that word? Yes, we are spirit beings but truly we run from even the potential of understanding this in theory least of all daily application.

I am bold to state this opinion as beyond myself... However, I believe in my life I have encountered enough individuals to be safe in saying "we". I don't presume there is anyone who has reached the full pinnacle and depth of such understanding in their brief years of this earth as we have known it... However, I would dare to say there are some (though limited no doubt in numbers) who have strived to reach deeper and have found a peace that many if not most of us will only hunger for. I hope that I am capable of maintaining the exploration of such aspirations through out my life that may bring me closer to "Heaven on earth" in a closer walk with the Lord now, and not simply accepting it as a promise for the future beyond this life.

Where is your secret? Is it here in this life or do you see it as out of reach and a promise for the life to come? As I look out the window of our new home to view the moutains, nature, and all that implies including the deer, humming birds and so much more; I am reminded of how incredible this all is and know that "what is beyond" is well stated as just that.... "Beyond our imagination"!

Have a great day and happy spring time!

February 28, 2009

A Deeper Understanding

Okay, I have shared many considerations that fall on a vast scale. Everything from extremely vast misfortune in our lives; to the incredible blessings that can ensue even in the worst of times with faith and no doubt, the right mind set.

However, I have not really touched on what is going on in the world beyond our own trials and tribulations. I realize that as uncertain as our future appeared over the past several months, there are many in far worse economic conditions than we have been. I have not neglected to mention these considerations for lack of compassion or even that I am so locked in my own world of problems or blessings that I can’t see the forest for the trees. No, quite the contrary if we’re honest here. I have shared what I have, not to dwell only on myself, but rather to offer others encouragement that things can turn around and when you least think that you can pull through something is just about the time the answer comes.

I have to say that I had learned in my life and was reminded again in the most recent past that the answer often is only a one day answer, or one problem solution. The answer often left the looming circumstances that created itself in the first place still in tact. All the while, we would be waiting for the next resolve to yet another problem in a series of faith exhausting exercises. However, what served as exhausting in the moment became all that truly strengthened us in the bigger picture.

That is the best way I can put it and understand that more often than not, my written words are not my own but inspired by my soul in which the Holy Spirit dwells. The words come to me as I go.

So, consider if you were going to get in shape, joining an aerobic class; take up jogging; or whatever your thing might be. As you begin your work out it is harder than all get out to make it through the first routine. You may breathe harder, take breaks in the regime, or not even finish it at all the first time around. You continue on and sooner or later you can make it through and begin to add to the level of difficulty or to take on the next goal. You get the idea, as the point is we don’t sit on the couch for five years and then decide that tomorrow we will be physically fit. It takes persistence, faith, a belief in what you can’t initially see, and a willingness to continue to return to the goal day after day no matter how hard it gets. This is true even if you are going to break a habit or make any other lifestyle changes.

So why then is it so difficult for us to understand that this applies in all areas of our lives. The reality if I am totally honest with myself is Ron and I could have been in a much better situation financially coming into this recent crisis. And the reality that we have had sooo many other crisis in our lives that seem to stem around money matters is due to many contributing factors, not one that is the fault of God or someone else.

I am going to be bold here and say that the problems we as a Nation and as a world are faced with today are no different. We the American people have over the past century piled up debt, fallen away from God. We have nearly in full refused his Biblical outline for sustaining our way of life, our good name and everything else as it applies. The reality is, we have written our own ticket to misfortune; one person at a time, one debt at a time, one foreclosure at a time and so forth. For the most part, our general public here in this very spoiled country will not accept delayed gratification. We for the most part, want what we really don’t need. However, we seem to have lost the understanding between the difference between need and want.

Now, the interesting part of our recent months is that we entered into this move in better financial condition than we have probably ever been in. We had a reserve to make the move with and the confidence in the employer to go forward. Therefore, do we now step back and say “See, even if you are prepared it can be gone in a moment….”? We could but we really haven’t. Instead we were brought to our knees financially and had to really consider what it was we must have been missing through out the whole process.

Consider, as we come out of this situation we are still faced with the reality that both my adult son and my husband who both contribute to paying the property payment as it has two houses on it – are both employed in a more than volatile industry of construction. Building green yes, but building in itself doesn’t sound like the most secure occupation at the moment. However, they have more work lining up right now than they ever did when they did it several years ago before they went to work for the oil companies. Tell me, how does that work? There is no logic or rhyme or reason to any of it! Then again, in God’s world there doesn’t have to be. I am reminded once more that our greatest wisdom is foolishness to him.

So, I ask what your position for the future is. I wonder how many folks who are more than familiar with “The Secret” may not be at all familiar with God’s precepts and promises. Or more importantly, how many of them truly understand how these precepts and promises play the largest part in all of it, for all people?

I wonder how many people truly believe these present times are just another set back in the economy and trust we will see a bright day emerge within the year. I can’t help pondering how few there are who are realizing this could be the end of this Nation and world as we have known it. The world will not come to an end. If only everyone could understand the truth that the world will not be destroyed not now, not ever! However in contrast, many within the world who have chose to be “in the world” and “of the world” will be destroyed.

Even if this isn't the case in fact, the reality is this economy is more than a blurb in the sound system. No sir, this is a time that revolutions and riots can be and more than likely are being born out of despair and an urgency to survive.

The basic survival instinct is not an elegant or even attractive feature in the human species. If we are honest with ourselves we have to understand that the future (soon to be present day) could be the worst of times where only the best of people will emerge victorious. Those who are now choosing to live by God’s Secret will be the victors. Not Bob or Diane’s promises that are no more than a secular perception of the Biblically well known truths that people had simply fallen away from over many generations.

Don’t get me wrong, I found value in viewing “The Secret” and have no problem referring it to others. I truly appreciated the reminder even if it was of a worldly view of which I translated to a Christian application even as I viewed it. However, the reality is I was reminded that there really isn’t a deep undiscovered secret at all, but a realization of God’s truths being re-entered into today’s society.

Understandably, even if less than virtuous, as most business men and women, the creators of “The Secret” opted to reach the masses. Therefore, they made it unilaterally applicable to all people, regardless of faith or belief systems. I truly believe God is not in any way limited by their chosen approach.

I am not trying to be the bearer of gloom and doom, but the reality is terrorism looms as an ever present threat even still. With a weakened state of the nation and even world wide economy, the enemy could find this the perfect opportunity. Consider many of these terrorists have learned to survive with no present day amenities in the desert, in caves and in the worst of conditions. They have one agenda and that is killing that of which stands in even silent opposition of their God Allah. They perceive these enemies namely as Israel and the Christian community (specifically defined within the USA). They do not come in peace to unite anything or anyone of a different faith or belief system than their own and murder is the name of the game they play.

We saw what happens in panic and crisis in the outcome of Hurricane Katrina. We watched it play out before our very eyes. Desensitized to the urgency of the moment by today's television prime time, we nearly couldn't believe or comprehend what we were viewing. As if to turn off the television was the end of the chaos that was within in our midst in a way of dealing with what appeared so surreal.

I can scarcely recall there was a time when others would sacrifice their own lives for another; when communities would pull together to save a neighbor or friend from foreclosure; when families remained close in proximity as well as heart; when rural family based farmers and ranchers were the main stay of our existence; and if someone was ill, all stops were pulled out to insure their medical treatment and on going care.

Can you imagine trading garden veggies and fruit for a check up at your doctor’s office? Heaven’s no and it’s not the doc’s fault folks! Nope, a doctor in our history was truly at the top of the list of humanitarians! They made house calls in the middle of the night, they were on call 24/7, 352 days a year and they often took items of such in trade for payment or didn’t get paid at all other than the thankful heart of a new mom holding new baby, a woman thankful her husband would survive, you get the idea. And they returned to care for the next crisis even when the balances from the past three visits were unpaid.

Then as time went on they began to climb the ranks of higher income rankings as the state of the nation appeared to be spiraling out of control ever upward! Clinics, hospitals, medical technology, truly all such wonderful advancements have all lead to high cost malpractice insurance, unrealistic expectations of what can be or has to be done, and the unreasonable consideration that doctors are not human and are not allowed to make mistakes. Not only has our technology taken us to new heights, but so has our unreasonable, unbending expectations of human performance.

Doctors in general are no longer one of the high end professions, nor can they work from the humanitarian standards that our country was born on. It is impossibility as they are forced to pay these insurance rates, deal with false allegations and un-forgiveness when and if they ever do make a mistake.

Sure, I admit there are doc’s out there that are just as self serving as this public they serve; but I have to believe they are far and few between! If only the worst of circumstances and the worst of practitioners were founded as opposed to every situation that goes a bit awry the outcome would have been much different.

I have to ask, if this country is primarily compiled of so-called Bible believing citizens where then did we leave behind the faith that our days and time on earth are on God’s time – not the family practitioner? I just don’t get it. Maybe it comes down to believing in what you wish and what serves the purpose in the moment. Isn’t that once more instant gratification? Sadly, neither God nor salvation works on such superficial applications.

If you ask me, I truly believe a great contributor to our problems is the state of law suits over the many years leading up to this point in time. Step off the curb wrong and it’s the fault of the property owner rather it was your own clumsy misstep or not. I really think the reality of this problem is ridiculously out of control. People have manipulated the Bible as well as the constitution to serve their own self propelling agendas. How sad is that? What is even sadder is that it is not everyone but the select who this does apply to who has spoiled the whole basket, in a way of looking at it.

So, my question today is: Are you ready for whatever is to come? Are you listening and learning so that you are prepared regardless of the outcome? Are you seeking understanding of God’s word and preparing your soul for eternity? Or are you one of the many who say whatever happens, happens and burying your head in the sand in denial. Trust me; you don’t want to find yourself in the dark wondering how it happened? Are you considering what you can do to meet the needs of your family in the event of a catastrophic national crisis? Water? Food? Blankets and warmth?

Truly, there are so many things to consider and so few understand just how significant the outcome could be! The cities will be the most dangerous, the outlying areas will likely fall prey to the city dwellers who are seeking refuge, food and other provisions. Can you imagine a day where a garden would no longer be fenced to keep rodents out; but rather guarded with barbwire as a prison yard, to prevent those in need of food from pillaging all of its crops? It is unthinkable but so was Katrina’s aftermath!

I may sound like the voice of gloom and doom but truly I am not looking to the future with anything more than a positive and bright out look in God’s promises. I am on the other hand, thinking in a mindset of preparedness.

Thankfully, as a result of this preparing we had ample food stocked for the time in which we had no income while Ron was unemployed these past several months. I can therefore attest first hand to the value of such preparing and considerations!

There are so many things we can do to help off set any major crisis and even be a stabilizing force in any impending circumstances. We should find ways to learn, to insure our futures be it spiritually as well as physically, we should involve ourselves in our friends, families, neighbors and church’s communities to insure a renewed status of old fashioned values. We need to reach out in a way that alone will empower us all. Empower us to overcome all that we have unintentionally wrought upon ourselves.

Okay… I know that this is not the most upbeat or happy blog I have ever entered here… But the reality is I felt the need to share such considerations as I do care about my brothers and sisters in this great nation!

God is still in the process folks – so trust the process. Then again, don’t mistake trust and faith for idleness and lack of wisdom! Have a great weekend - and be blessed!

So much bad news all over the place, people sweating out everything from employment to food shortages; the stock market though better than yesterday - certainly not good; the chance of seeing everything we know and have come quite comfortable to afford ourselves being threatened from gas and oil to electricity! Oh yes, we can find every source of doom and gloom that could be created by truths, part truths and even ospiciously creative minds!

However, today (at least in my world) spring is in the air. No, the day is not without complication, but it's still absolutely lovely! The skies started out so incredible this morning as the rain clouds that settled in and dispersed moisture all day yesterday and well into the wee hours of today were clearing and the fog was settled in the lower valleys as the sun began it's chore of burning it off. The valleys are the view we look down on with the mountain peaks reaching far above. The mountain peaks were cleared with the stark beauty of pristine blue skies beyond.

I was so thrilled knowing I had batteries at last in the camera and rushed to take pictures to download and send out and even thought to post them here as well. However, in the midst of the move I have not a clue where my camera's USB cable went to. I will have to either begin unpacking boxes that I am not eager to begin working on.... Or buy another this weekend. In any event, no pics today.

However, there are grasses all along the road ways that are greening at the base along with the smell of rain on the air this morning combined with the mild temperatures that tell me our new region may very well see signs of spring sooner than our old region generally did. Both areas are of course in Colorado and the new being higher in elevation, in the mountains, therefore I suppose it is a bit surprising. Nonetheless, I'm not complaining!

I was standing on the front porch staring out at the beauty beyond a short time ago - in the late afternoon. I felt a very calming breeze that told my soul all is well. I love the mountains and all that they imply. Our new home (shy of the muddy driveway) is even more pristine in it's beauty than I could have foretold before living here.

My only question is... Why would anyone have ever wanted to leave this place? I suppose that the moutain life is not for all and I am glad of it! I promise as soon as I have the cable I will be sharing my world with you in picture form and hope that even in some way you are blessed by it all as I am!

So, for at least the moment, I strongly suggest you forget about all the problems of our day and age and focus on finding the beauty in your surroundings... breath in the presence of God.

If you are determined there is no beauty to be found, then close your eyes and create your own... Let your thoughts and day dreams carry you away and feel the signs of spring as they begin to knock on the door of our lives once more!

Have a great day and be blessed!

p.s.
I'm still trusting "God is in the process". So, no need to sweat the small stuff or even the big stuff for that matter!

Good Morning!

After being away for so many months and coming back yesterday as a result of a few acknowledgements that I had not been writing of late; I was considering the reason I even began this blog last year and where I was going with it.

It was all about being beyond the secret as it applied to me and my own life. I am realizing that in so many ways this message truly has become a way of life for me, as opposed to a thought process.

As I indicated in the past blog entry we endured many hardships and set backs after moving to our new home several hours from where we were living before this past fall. As I consider the amount of time there was no work and how everything was in place to make it through the time of trials and perhaps even testing I'm a bit amazed. It's almost as if I am the person reading about someone else's life and how it played out rather than one of the involved parties.

How did all that came to pass occur? How a miraculous answer to a problem does present itself when the answer was in process before anyone even realized there was a trial or a problem? How does the Lord keep track of all that is going on in the Universe? These questions are much the same as asking who made God. There are answers we simply don't have other than to trust and walk in the blind faith that represents everything that the Bible tells us about the secret that is no secret at all!

Somehow, someway a company who contracts for gas line work made a grave error in the manner of which they fenced off our east pasture. Somehow, someway two horses who generally never even mess with fences were seriously injured. Somehow, someway I, who generally understands accidents happen, was pushed by the company’s arrogance and ignorance to the point of demanding a full settlement of the horses values. Somehow, someway Ron was offered a job that didn't even seem probable and was definitely in an area we didn't want to move. Somehow, someway we not only find an area in the region of the job offer that is not only a favorable area to our liking but my dream come true of returning to a mountain ranching community. Somehow, someway the job was a lie that did not reveal itself until God had apparently opened every possible door that needed to be opened for us to make this our new home. Somehow, someway it all came to pass as a result of the funds that were made available from the gas contractors’ error in fencing. Somehow, someway we survived the trials of unemployment for more than three months along with many other unpredictable set backs. Somehow and someway we are still here and doing better than I could have anticipated! Somehow, someway God is clearly present in our circumstances and our process.

Who's to say what is a blessing or luck and what is misfortune or a curse? Who's to say we appeared to be so unfortunate when the two horses I had for sale for a good price would be rendered unsellable? Who's to say that the company Ron went to work for that closed it's doors was a curse or bad fortune?

Consider I have returned to the mountains in a rural ranching community of which I had determined was virtually impossible in the past several years. Consider Ron and Chad are now working in a field that they never really wanted to get out of in the first place years before; with more promise in a field of endeavors that seems so unlikely. Consider they are working in field of work with more work on the way that should be non-existant in this economy... And that is just to name a few things to consider.

Now, we all know the reality is this table could turn as well but is that so unthinkable? I know I can speak for all of us that the roller coaster ride can stop at least for awhile and allow us to catch our breath. However, how can we say that it was wrong when so many things have continued to simply work themselves out on their own accord or better stated, miraculously resulted in leaving no doubt they are answers to prayer straight from the throne of God. So many things that initially appeared as bad luck have turned out to be answers to long lost dreams and aspirations and true miracles.

Yet, I am of the mindset that the set backs as they were, and trust me there were many days I was not feeling so fortunate, were all with purpose and were able to play out as we simply continued to believe. After all, at that point in time we were doing all we knew to do which gained us nothing. But our faith and belief paid great dividends, in spite of our own thoughts of what the future would bring totally falling by the wayside.

Though I have to acknowledge that had we not stayed here and returned to our familiar grounds that God still could have worked it out... I'm of the mind that he most certainly can work it all out no matter what we choose to do or how badly we may mess things up... However, I wonder if we would have walked the course through if we had not purchased our home and locked ourselves in at least for the time being.

I would like to think we would have stuck it out and think that we would have believed that we could still pursue our dreams and ambitions in spite of the set backs. But it's hard to say for sure.

However, in any event we did hang in here rather it was because we had no other option at the time or because we never quit believing. In the big picture, we are still here and I'm glad of it.

Even if there were days we did quit believing in our decisions, you would not have known it from our words or our actions. Not one of us spoke out that we had made a mistake in moving or that we had gone against God's will in all of it. Not once did we ever say we were sorry for being where we were, even when we were virtually all but snowed in on our new 1/4 mile driveway up the side of "Lipari Mountain".

Someone said to me the other day when I offered an updated report we were hanging in and though it will take some time to get straightened out, the guys were working now and it was much better....

The comment was "That's good, so at least you feel like it wasn't all for nothing." Now don't get me wrong, I don't think the comment was intended in a mean or negative way at all.

But at the same time my response was honest when I replied "I never felt it was for nothing and never doubted we were where God led us." I additionally added I was glad we did not have the option of throwing in the towel, tucking tail and heading back - I realize that would have been an easy option in the given circumstances.

Truley, along with what I've already stated, I do think it's much harder to face such obstacles and struggles in our life when there is an escape clause, a safety hatch so to speak.

Be it we were forced to, or that we simply acted on blind faith and trusted the path that God put before us, regardless I'm glad of it. I hope we can stay on track and continue in our walk as it is.

It is in these realizations that I see how the change in my mind set has rubbed off on those around me and how it has come to fruition in our lives. I am amazed at what has come to pass and I am so thankful that I never quit believing in our decision to move, even when there was a great deal of reason to quit believing that we had made the right choices.

I look at so many others around me in my life and feel a pull on my heart that as strong as they may be in their faith in God, they are missing what the secret reminded me of. I'm not saying that nothing will go wrong again, in fact, I'd say living by faith, growing in God, and walking the talk will no doubt bring undesired attention from Satan. I know we will face his attempts to stand against us and our forward motion. Therefore, I can nearly predict that it is not when the next card falls so to speak, but when.

I realize that every desire, with pure intent in our hearts and souls was put there by grand design. God does not put impossible desires and dreams upon us to pine over all of our days. Instead he puts these desires there with a hope that we will learn to rely on and trust in him, the one who gave them to us in the first place. His desire is that we will never quit believing that he can empower the path of accomplishing them to his glory. Understandably, they are accessable but not in our own power and not without the faith of a child. The faith that operates on blind expectation that nothing is impossible to God who created all, including those dreams and desires.

The secret and the gifts of Heaven are not without cost or expectation. They do require a great deal of us. Faith as such is not an easy matter. Trusting in anything in a society such as we live in goes against nearly everything that most of us know and understand. Believing without facts and reason to believe is just as difficult for many if not most.

The reality is we have a burden of expectation to not presume to know our own future and direction on our own accord; but rather we are called to turn to God as our captain for direction as to how to proceed in all things. We are called to obedience and to service but not out of obligation or guilt. No, rather we are called to submit and give freely of our life in all ways out of a glad and grateful heart.

It is not easy to leave a comfort zone or to walk in such faith and I am still working on it. But I have to admit I have unknowingly made great strides forward in such matters. I am stepping out on a ledge these days as I ponder the realities of what we have recently experienced and endured, stretching us and growing our faith every step of the way.

I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone of privacy and solitude to make a way toward the tomorrow that God has had in mind for me and my family all along. It is not comfortable here on the ledge that I am percariously perched upon. Yet, I know that God has my hand and should I fall his net is in place to catch me.

Nothing is impossible to those who trust their creator enough to follow where he leads them, even when it doesn't make much sense to do so. Our intelligence, our greatest plans and our most incredible achievements are but foolishness to his awesome power, love and wisdom. Who am I to question him?

So, on that note, considering at least my life beyond the secret.... I am one child of God who is thankful for the reminder in which I was offered the opportunity to begin the change of heart and mind. The change that has led me to the views of a life time that remind me without words that God is ever present, alive and well in our lifes!

Love to all and may you have a great Sunday!

p.s. - Be sure you take time to smell the flowers, watch the birds and listen to their song today.

Hello World!

I can't believe it is February and I haven't been here in months! I thought I had done this enough last spring to make it a habit but apparently not so!

You would not believe what all has gone wrong!!!! I am not exaggerating this at all but I promise you I wish I were! Oh well, all things can and do work for good for those who serve the Lord and believe me, he has our attention (again).

We are moved into the new house but didn't close on it even close to being on time! Believe it or not, the move from the old farm is STILL not complete as we still have some outside things to take care of and that quite frankly is a nightmare. It came down to the boys, my Mom and myself basically making the move. Ron and our adult son and his wife Chad and Kelly making a couple of trips on the weekends but that didn't even come close to a dent in the bigger picture.

We didn't seem to mind too much as we were all so excited to be here and finally be done, but the boys couldn't miss any more school and the snow started flying. I don't mind the trip but not with snow over the passes. However, I did make the mountain pass trip with at least one snow storm and was soooo proud of myself. Nonetheless, I can't say I would want to make a habit of it or for that matter even do it at all again. I really don't know how some people do it every day as drivers all year long! That is a humbling consideration if you ask me.

So, finally the day before New Years Eve we made it down to at least empty out the houses so the owners could move forward on what they needed to or wanted to do with them. They are in desperate need of some major improvements before they rent it again. My greatest hope is they will at least re-wire them before they burn down with the 1930's wiring that has been touched up in a less than accurate manner over the years. Everyone who came out to bid on electrical work for us while we were there swore they didn't know how it had not burned down and said someone was watching over us. For that I'm very grateful.

I have to say, as we were preparing to move and then actually going through the process I thought I would be terribly sad and lonely for the old place and thus far I can honestly say that feeling has not overcome me at all.

However, I would be a liar if I said there have not been days where I have thought at least to myself that somewhere along the line we must have missed God's cue card and that we had made a huge mistake.

I'm sure you are asking yourself why or how that could be with as good as the offer was and all the promise of the fall.

The economy and the election of course have hit everyone hard... But that wasn't all that had me wondering how everything went from being relatively good in our lives to totally upside down.

By the first of November, shortly after closing on the new house it was becoming increasingly concerning that Ron's employer was not able to meet pay roll. It had gone on for a couple of weeks before they finally said that everyone would continue to be paid but not to come in until the paychecks were in the banks.

By mid Nov we were watching for jobs and shortly after the election there were no jobs to look for and there were no paychecks in the bank. It was more than a little scary to say the least.

Any savings or extra we had was chewed up in buying the house and making the move and then some. But somehow we kept hanging in there and praying for some sort of answer to our crisis.

We nearly lost Chad over the side of a 900 foot cliff up on the oil mountain that he was working on when he was sent up without chains to drop off a trailer full of straw for erosion control. It was scary to hear about but to see the trailer hanging off the edge in mid-air and knowing the only thing that stopped the truck from following it over was the hitch which was breaking under the pressure, catching on the edge.

I will say the thankful heart that my one and only biological son was spared from a horrendous demise, has helped me get through the rest of the "stuff" we have been enduring realizing it really isn’t so bad after all!

Shortly thereafter again with tires on this truck that he had been requesting be changed for over two months, he slid off an icy road once more going air born. It was on his way home one night when hitting his brakes to avoid a deer that ran in front of him on a corner nonetheless. You would not believe the number of deer that are hit up here in the winter; it's definitely a means of deer population control. But needless to say, he was a bit head shy about driving the mountain roads for awhile.

His company along with just about every other company up here was laying off and his job went away too. The only one working by that point was Kelly still as a part time teller at the bank making significantly less than she had before moving. So I suppose by now you have the idea that the land of milk and honey turned out to not be so sweet and the milk went sour!

But not all is lost - it was and still is beautiful and in a time of economic downturn and chaos amidst the world we live in, I can't think of a place I would rather be tucked away and sheltered from the craziness of our current world.

We had so many people praying for us and I can tell you the prayers were felt! The grace that has carried us through these perilous times has been awe inspiring and humbling to say the least! We have a new church home in which so many things have come to pass as open doors and blessings that I can't even begin to tell you how moving it has been!

Ron and Chad recently miraculously connected with a builder they met at church who after working with them was more than willing and wanting to hook up with them for future work and combining all their talents and skills. Thus far they have been busy with more coming up.

We endured through God's grace the extent of the past three months with little income and little reason to believe there was hope on the other side of what had befallen us. However, by this grace we never gave up and never quit believing we were right where God wanted us to be. Is this the secret at work? God's secret but then again, don't we who know the promises of Gods word already know "The Secret" as is was no secret at all and nothing new. However, the movie and book along with all the attention and media it received has served us well as a great reminder of God's ability to work through things even in what we believe is the worst case scenarios and worst of times.

So, now it is February - the end of February and we still have some pot holes that we are digging out of, but all in all I am still just as optimistic as ever. I haven't even touched on all that went wrong and perhaps over time I will be able to add tid bits of insight of what all came pouring down on us.

However, for now let me suffice to say it has been a journey and I am all in all grateful and all the stronger in my faith and walk wtih the Lord for it!

For now, please know I'm alive and well and should be back to writing on some sort of a more frequent basis once again. After all, it's time to get back on with life and the pursuit of fulfilling all that I am purposed to be here for! Also known as the truest pursuit of happiness!

Have a great weekend (what's left of it!)